This morning, I headed out for my walk, podcast loaded and dressed for the warm weather we’ve been having. But as soon as I stepped outside, I was hit with a chill, and then, rain. Ugh. I briefly considered turning back, maybe get a sweatshirt, put in my contact lenses to avoid the rain on my glasses, but by that point, I was already a few minutes down the road. I felt cold, wet, and really uncomfortable and I wanted to turn back, but I also wanted to keep walking. So, what do I do?
That’s when the realisation struck me: I have to simply let myself feel uncomfortable. I was curious what might happen if I sat with this discomfort
for the next hour, feeling cold, wet, and
with blurry vision?
We often seek comfort. Why? Because it feels good, duh. Comfort can come in many forms: a favourite food, enjoying a beloved TV show, a new purchase, or a vacation. These experiences are natural ways to find relief and pleasure, but there’s a subtle difference between true comfort and the avoidance of healthy discomfort, which can often manifest as the quick high we get from a dopamine rush.
And this is where things are not so straight forward. While comfort can provide temporary relief, we've become increasingly addicted to the dopamine hits we get from these little pleasures. We seek that immediate feel-good rush more and more, and it’s taking a toll on our well-being. What we often think of as comfort is really our brain’s way of rewarding us for instant gratification. This craving for quick satisfaction is driven by our brain's reward system, which encourages us to chase these boosts, especially when we feel like we deserve them.
But what happens when we step outside of that comfort zone? Why does discomfort feel so... well, uncomfortable? What’s really happening in the body? The answer lies in the hormones that regulate not only our physical responses but also our emotions. These hormones play a critical role in how we experience discomfort, and ultimately, in our growth.
How key hormones affect your mood
Hormone | Description | Activity to Boost/Reduce |
Dopamine | The feel-good" hormone, released during pleasure or reward. Too much leads to craving instant gratification. | Boost: Pursue a meaningful challenge (e.g. learning something new). Reduce: Avoid seeking constant quick rewards (e.g. social media, junk food). |
Norepinephrine | The stress hormone that increases alertness and focus. Too much causes anxiety. | Boost: Exercise, meditation, or breathing exercises to manage stress. Reduce: Practice relaxation techniques like yoga or deep breathing. |
Endorphins | Natural painkillers that create a feeling of euphoria. Released during physical activity or stress. | Boost: Exercise, laughter, or creative activities. Reduce: Manage stress with rest and self-care. |
Cortisol | The stress hormone, which helps with survival but can cause problems when elevated long-term. | Boost: Get enough sleep and practice relaxation techniques. Reduce: Limit caffeine, alcohol, and chronic stress. |
Our bodies are homeostasis-seeking-machines
Together, these hormones regulate how we feel during times of discomfort. Our body is a system that is constantly seeking balance, or homeostasis. When we shift the body out of its regular state of equilibrium—whether it’s through physical discomfort, emotional stress, or a chemical imbalance—our body will fight to regain balance. Sometimes it succeeds, and we feel good again. Other times, it fails, and we experience physical or emotional distress.
It’s important to remember that discomfort, whether it’s the body’s stress response or emotional tension, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s often the key to personal growth. The hormones driving these feelings are pushing us out of our comfort zones and into new possibilities. However, it’s not always easy to embrace this discomfort. Sometimes, it can feel unbearable.
Seeking comfort vs. growth
Just like physical discomfort, like the rain on my walk, emotional discomfort can be just as intense and can persist longer. Recently, I faced a tough emotional period after receiving some difficult feedback. It reminded me that discomfort isn’t only physical, but emotional too. While the feedback was intended to be constructive, it felt uncomfortable to hear. I tried to sit with it and putting my ego aside to stay open to learning and growth, yet feelings of rejection and hopelessness pervaded.
Later, I sought validation from someone else, hoping for recognition, but when it didn’t come, my self-worth felt further threatened. The emotional discomfort I experienced as a result of these two incidences lingered for days. Deep down I knew I’d get through it as long as I allowed myself to truly feel the discomfort and let whatever needed to come up from it, come up.
Just like the lobster
This is a lot like the way a lobster grows. Did you know that when a lobster is ready to grow, it begins to feel uncomfortable inside its exoskeleton. The shell, which was once protective, starts to become restrictive as the lobster outgrows it. In order to continue growing, the lobster must shed its shell and expose itself to vulnerability, sometimes even danger. After shedding its old shell, it takes time for the lobster to form a new, larger one. During this period, the lobster is vulnerable and soft, but only by enduring this discomfort can it become bigger and stronger.
Just like the lobster, we too must endure discomfort in order to grow. You can’t grow and stay comfortable at the same time; growth and discomfort are mutually exclusive. And, to step into a more authentic version of myself, I had to confront the painful parts of me that I’d been avoiding. So, this morning on my walk, when I felt uncomfortable, I saw it as an opportunity for growth. I wondered, What would happen if I just embraced this discomfort and kept walking despite it?
As I continued walking, something shifted, not just in my mindset, but in my body. The endorphins kicked in, helping me relax, while the discomfort slowly faded and I started to enjoy the feeling of rain on my face. I stopped feeling as cold, my blurry vision became less of a problem, and I began to see the world with a softer focus. I’d transcended discomfort into a new kind of comfort, one that was more rewarding. And that’s exactly what growth feels like: uncomfortable, but ultimately rewarding.
And you too can transcend discomfort and turn it into growth. Where are you feeling uncomfortable in your life, and how might you embrace, and transcend it?
As always, I value your thoughts and reflections on this topic, leave comments below.
Sending much love, in harmony,
Nicole
This article is authored by Nicole Sultana, who holds a Post Graduate Degree in Spiritual Care, a Post Graduate Certificate in Business (Marketing), and a Bachelor of Applied Science in Exercise & Sport Science. In addition, she is a Certified Therapeutic Sound Practitioner and a Death Doula. Nicole is the founder of Sound Consciousness, a company that offers wellbeing strategies and therapeutic sound practices to help individuals achieve peak performance in their professional lives, relationships, and personal aspirations.
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