Christmas is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many, it can be the opposite, a season that amplifies feelings of loss, loneliness, or sadness. For those missing loved ones who have died, the holidays can often be bittersweet, as traditions and memories oy amplify their absence. Additionally, while others may celebrate together it can highlight your sense of loneliness.
Having worked in palliative care, I’ve witnessed firsthand the complex emotions that surface during this time of year. Grief doesn’t take a holiday; instead, it can intensify when the world seems to expect constant cheerfulness. It’s important to recognize that the so-called “most wonderful time of the year” can also be a time of deep reflection and longing. Emotions such as anger and resentment can also surface.
Many people experience what’s commonly referred to as the “holiday blues.” Whether due to financial stress, family conflicts, or feelings of isolation, the pressure to feel festive can leave some feeling flat or disconnected. Even after the celebrations are over, a sense of emptiness can creep in, leaving you feeling low and uninspired.
Ways to care for yourself during the holidays
Grieving during the holidays? Know that you are not alone, your feelings are valid and need to be honoured, here's how:
1. Acknowledge your feelings
It’s okay to feel sad, withdrawn, or even angry. Don’t pressure yourself to “get over it” or pretend you’re fine. Allowing yourself to experience your emotions without judgment is an essential part of healing.
2. Honour the memory of loved ones
Create space to remember those you’ve lost in meaningful ways. Light a candle in their honour, hang a special ornament, set aside time to share memories with others who knew them, or even cook their favourite dish. These rituals can help you feel connected to their spirit while embracing the joy of the season in your own way.
3. Connect with others
Loneliness is one of the hardest parts of the holidays for many people. If you’re feeling isolated, reach out to someone you trust. This could be a friend, a family member, or even a community group. Sometimes, just having a conversation or spending time with others can ease the weight of sadness. It can be the most difficult thjng to push yourself to be social when you don't feel like it, but pushing yourself through will really help you.
4. Give and receive kindness
Kindness has a way of healing. Check in on a neighbour or friend who may also be struggling. Offer a kind word, a card, or a share some food. Acts of compassion, no matter how small, can create connection and remind us that we’re not alone. Even a simple text message can truly uplift someone's spirit, making them feel special and that you have thought of them.
5. Practice self-care
Pay attention to your own needs. Rest when you’re tired, nourish your body with healthy food or comfort food, and make time for activities that bring you peace, whether it’s journaling, taking a walk, or engaging in sound meditation practices. Sound meditation, in particular, can be a powerful way to soothe the nervous system and process emotions, allowing you to find moments of calm amidst the chaos. There are many sound meditations online you can listen to for free. Or listen to a Yoga Nidra recording and tune-into your body. Movement can also help shift your emotions, be it a gentle walk in nature or pounding it out on a punching bag, either way connecting with your physical body is a powerful way to connect and shift.
Facing the post-holiday blues
After the celebrations, many people experience a slump as the decorations come down and life returns to normal. This can be especially true if the holidays didn’t live up to your expectations. Here’s how to move forward with compassion:
- Reflect with intention, don’t dwell: Take time to reflect on what felt difficult or unfulfilling without being too hard on yourself.
- Set gentle intentions: Instead of diving into New Year’s resolutions, consider setting small, manageable goals that align with your emotional needs in that moment.
- Seek support: If feelings of sadness persist, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional. Grief and the holiday blues are both valid reasons to seek professional help.
Finding balance between grief and celebration
Grief and joy can coexist. While it’s okay to feel the weight of your loss, it’s also okay to find moments of joy in the present. By honouring your loved ones in ways that feel right to you, you create space for both healing and celebration.
As always, I value your thoughts and reflections on this topic, leave comments below.
Sending much love, in harmony, Nicole
This article is authored by Nicole Sultana, who holds a Post Graduate Degree in Spiritual Care, a Post Graduate Certificate in Business (Marketing), and a Bachelor of Applied Science in Exercise & Sport Science. In addition, she is a Certified Therapeutic Sound Practitioner and a Death Doula. Nicole is the founder of Sound Consciousness, a company that offers wellbeing strategies and therapeutic sound practices to help individuals achieve peak performance in their professional lives, relationships, and personal aspirations.
If you found this article interesting, please leave a comment below and share it with others who might find it beneficial. Sharing our experiences helps us all learn, grow, and heal together. We welcome lively discussions, as they contribute to our multifaceted humanity. Let's remember to approach discussions with respect and kindness at heart.
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